Chen Yan
ABC Street 62
Block 98, #10-20
Singapore 124589
(+65) 90010002
12th February, 2010
HR Manager
54 EFG Street
Singapore 678093
Dear Sir/Madam,
APPLICATION FOR THE POST OF ITSECURITY ADVISOR
I have a great interest on your advertisement for position of IT security advisor posted on jobstreet. As I know, F&G is a company with long history, wide scope of business and excellent quality of product; I would very much want to be part of your team to contribute to your future success.
I graduated from National University of Singapore (NUS) with a honor degree in computer engineering, specialized in networking. During my course of study in NUS, I completed numbers of modules related to IT security. Other than normal curricular, I have also attended many workshops to build up my computer skills, for instance, UNIX workshop, VMware workshop. Therefore, I have equipped sufficient knowledge in IT security related field.
The experience of being a leader in co-curricular activities in junior college and experience of organizing event in university also equipped me with strong interpersonal skills and communication skills. During my study in NUS, I had to handle many project at same times, so I am able to work under tight deadlines. I am a well-organized and enthusiasm person who enjoys challenge myself and working in a fast-paced environment. My knowledge together with my passion in IT security field makes the right person for the position you are looking to fill.
I have attached my personal resume, which outlines details of my education, experience and person information.
I will be available to come in for an interview at any time convenient to you. Please feel free to contact me by phone at 90010002 or by email at cy514@hotmail.com. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours Faithfully,
Chen Yan
Enclosed: Resume
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Application Letter for IT Security Advisor(Assuming I am a graduate student)
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Hello Chen Yan!
ReplyDeleteYour resume has a concise and clear structure.
You can modify some typo I guess:
"My knowledge together with my passion in IT security field makes me the right person for the position you are looking to fill.
"
At the end, I think your email and contact number are written in your resume. So it is not important to state it in application letter.
Oh, the email and contact number are optional. You can clarify with Ms Lim as I not attend the class :)
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ReplyDeleteHi Chen Yan!
ReplyDeleteI see that you have all the components of a good cover letter so well done! However, there are a few grammatical errors that I would like to point out and some suggestions that you might want to consider.
1. An Honors Degree
2.During my course of study in NUS, I have completed a number of modules * You should state the exact module you took that is relevant to the job
3.Therefore, I am well equipped with knowledge in the field of IT security.
4.Being a leader in co-curricular activities in junior college *You should give specific examples. Remember one of the C's is Concrete!
5.I am a well-organized and enthusiastic person who enjoys working in a fast-paced and challenging environment.
6."I have attached my personal resume, which outlines details of my education, experience and person information." -> Just say you have attached your resume. An employer will know what is inside a resume. Not necessary to add in personal unless you are saying that you have used other people's resume before XD
Hi Chen Yan, I am glad to be able to post on your blog again! =)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, the first thing I came across is that you have too many I am... I am....I.. I.... I am not really sure whether is it a good thing but I think that it makes the letter sound quite forceful. Although there is nothing wrong with that, it may not be that good a cover letter.
On the plus side, I believe your cover letter is well structured and organized. As terrence said, there are several grammatical errors and sentence structure problems which I believe you can do even more to avoid such mistakes in future. =)
To Dan:
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting on my application letter :) I will take notes of my grammar error and looking forward to see you in class :)
To Terence:
Thanks a lot for commenting and pointing out my grammar error, it helps me a lot =)
To WeeLee:
Thanks a lot for commenting on my blog again =) I'm agree with you that using a lot of "I am ...." doesn't sound good, I will improve on this, thanks a lot =)
Hi Chen Yan,
ReplyDeleteThe application letter is well-structured! Pershaps you can elaborate more on the modules that you take which is related to the IT security?
I feel that you do not need to include 'I have attached my personal resume, which outlines details of my education, experience and person information.' as the resume attached is already indicated by the enclosure. :)
Hi Chen Yan, please upload your job adv so your classmates can better comment on your application letter.
ReplyDeleteHello chen yan!:)
ReplyDeleteI see that you have attended different courses to gain more knowledge in IT security related field! Thats great! :) Maybe you can elaborate a bit more on how these workshop have helped you and makes you a better candidate as compared to the rest of the job applicants?
Also, I feel that there are too many first person sentences starting with "I am", this may make your application sounds a little too strong. As the rest have mentioned, I feel that 'I have attached my personal resume, which outlines details of my education, experience and person information.' is not necessary either.
On a side note, maybe you would like to put a bogus handphone number and email address down as this blog post is open to the public! It may be a bit dangerous for you to put down the real contact details!
To HuiTing:
ReplyDeleteThanks you for your comments :) I will take notes for the points:)